


Speed Dating For Penguins

by Moriartysappletree



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Ed is jealous af, Jealous Edward Nygma, M/M, Olga and Gabe try to be matchmakers, silly penguin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 16:45:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8631358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moriartysappletree/pseuds/Moriartysappletree
Summary: Oswald, despite his better judgement, is set up for speed dating by Olga and Gabe and Edward isn't too happy about the results.





	

Oswald Cobblepot paced around the mansion’s fireplace disgruntled, letting out the occasional dramatic sigh and a curse under his breath. Olga watched from afar, absently dusting a mantlepiece that if dusted anymore, the paint may chip right off. Still, she couldn’t help but feel concerned. Gabe approached and furrowed his brow, ‘whats wrong with the Boss?’ He murmured to her. She shook her head, ‘Mr. Penguin is still upset over that man.’ She told him quietly. Gabe did a slow shrug, ‘he could do better…Maybe it’s about time we, ya know, set him up.’ Olga’s face lit up, ‘speed dating.’ She said before shuffling off. 

When Oswald returned to the mansion after being out on mayoral duties he was confronted by three men sitting at his dining room table whom he had never seen before. Most weren’t dressed formal enough for this to considered anything business related but they all had an air about them, straight backs, trying to puff their chest like wild gorillas fighting to be the alpha. He spotted Olga and Gabe talking casually to them at the end of the table. Oswald shuffled forward and grabbed both their arms forceful and lead them to a distance in which he believed was out of earshot for the men. ‘There better be a good explanation why these strangers are sitting at my table.’ He told them sternly, ‘Yes,Mr. Penguin.’ Olga began, ‘they are here for speed dating.’ Oswald’s expression turned from hard to confused and taken aback. ‘Did-Did you say ‘speed dating’?’ He asked, an eyebrow arched, perplexed. Gabe stepped forward, ‘we just thought with you being all down about Nygma that maybe it’s about time you look for someone who appreciates you…For you.’ Oswald blinked once. ‘As strangely sweet as that is, Gabe. I highly doubt speed dating will do any good.’  
Olga nodded in understanding but then said, ‘you should at least try it, no? The men are already here.’ Both her and Gabe gave him a reassuring smile. Oswald shuffled somewhat nervously, he had never really gone on any dates before, much less speed dating with three different participants. ‘Alright.’ He said finally.

‘Hey Mayor Cobblepot, I’m James.’ was what Oswald’s first speed dating partner said. He had dirty blond hair with a streak of silver that seemed out of place in the messy do and a faded red hoodie that matched his casual attire. ‘How do you do?’ Was Oswald’s response. James’s eyes scanned the room they were in and he sniffed, ‘nice place, ya got here. Everything is expensive, well polished. Bet lot’s a fellas try and break in on this joint, huh?’ His abrupt manner had Oswald a bit lost for words. What on earth was he on about? And how does one even reply to that?’ James gave a lazy lopsided grin, ‘yeeeahhh if I lived here I wouldn’t have to steal a penny again.’ His hand absently felt the table they were sat at and he eyed it as if calculating it’s worth. ‘nice, nice.’ was what he continued to mumble to himself.

The second man that met Oswald’s acquaintance wasn’t much better. He looked nice enough, dress shirt ironed perfectly, hair slicked back with a slight hint of stubble on his chin. However ,he seemed to be more interested in how many people Oswald had murdered and in what way he went about it then say, if he enjoyed long walks on the beach or whatever people usually ask on speed dates. Oswald had no problem when it came to his murderous tendencies but the man seemed persistent to know all the gruesome details that it may very well have put Oswald off his villainous ways for the rest of his life. 

Once the man had strutted away as in seeming victory, Oswald stood up abruptly and turned on his heel to Olga and Gabe who had been watching closely as the dates panned out. ‘This will not do. I see no clear way of any of these working out. I felt as if the first one would right then and there snatch the shoes right off my feet! As for the second gentleman..well quite frankly, he was making me very uncomfortable. Therefore, I am ending this now.’ Olga shook her head but it was Gabe who quickly spoke, ‘Boss, there’s still one more left, at least give him a chance.’ Penguin closed his eyes in frustration and put a single hand up. ‘I am done.’ Oswald was just about to leave when a tall man with neatly combed hair stepped forward, ‘Hello, are we still doing the speed dating?’  
‘My apologises sir but it has been discontinu-‘ Oswald stopped mid sentence and stared at the man. The first thing he noticed was that he had an impeccable dress sense and well, if Oswald was being honest. He was quite handsome as well. Oswald scarcely ever was attracted by first sight, let alone a stranger. He found himself with his mouth slightly gaping before the man smiled warmly and cleared his throat. ‘Hi, my name is Geoffrey and how nice it is to finally meet you.’ He said. Oswald took a while to register that the sentence begged a response. ‘I-I am Mayor Cobblepot.’ Dammit. Did he really have to say ‘Mayor’? He really didn’t want to put himself on a pedestal like that. Geoffrey simply chuckled which made Oswald feel a pang of embarrassment at his foolishness. ‘Yes, I know. Shall we sit?’

The conversation seemed to flow easily with Geoffrey and whilst he was no Edward, Oswald tried to picture what life would be like with him. Did he feel love? Perhaps not. Was Geoffrey charismatic and kind with a smile that charmed the pants off him? Absolutely. Perhaps, Oswald thought. He could grow to love him as he did with Ed. Perhaps. 

Over the next few days Oswald and Geoffrey spent time together, going to the park, reading by the fireplace. Edward had seen the man enter and exit the house numerous occasions but hadn’t thought much of it until he saw Oswald laughing and smiling so bright with Geoffrey one morning, as they looked at eachother with adoration. Something about that inside Ed, urcked him. Who exactly was this guy anyway?

He approached Oswald one day about the matter. ‘Who is he?’ He asked bluntly. Oswald’s smile broadened, ‘Oh, Ed, I’m sorry I haven’t yet properly introduced Geoffrey to you. He is always whisking me away some place or another’ Oswald laughed at the thought cheerily. Ed cocked his head, ‘Geoffrey? Are you two…seeing eachother? Romantically I mean.’ Oswald shrugged and casted his eyes down bashfully, ‘I suppose you could call it that. He has been so kind to me.’ Edward adjusted his glasses nervously he wasn’t sure why he was nervous himself. ‘Do you..Love him?’ He asked. He didn’t think that question came out wrong, he had to look out for his friend, right? Oswald didn’t say anything back just gave a little nod, with a smile to confirm it. 

Just then, Geoffrey entered and approached Ed extending his hand ‘Ah, you must be Edward. I’m Geoffrey. Penguin’s..Friend’ He gave a sly glance at Oswald. Edward’s eyes flickered down to the awaiting hand and then to Geoffrey’s face. ‘His name is Oswald.’ He told him with a slight aggressiveness in his voice. Geoffrey’s hand dropped and he looked at Oswald awkwardly for some reassurance. ‘Ed.’ Oswald said finally slicing through the ever growing silence. ‘Why don’t you tell Geoffrey a riddle? He quite likes them as well, you know.’ Edward was still shooting daggers at Geoffrey’s direction but despite himself, with tight lips murmured out a ‘fine.’ He stepped forward ‘I am always around, but never seen. I am often avoided, but you can't out run me. For I will come when you are old and grey, or maybe even the very next day. I come in many forms of emotional state, whether it's irony, love, laughter, or hate. I am everyone's finale fate. What am I?’ ‘D-Death?’ Geoffrey croaked.  
Edward’s face split into a grin, ‘Correct!’ He cheered and with that he walked off swiftly. Oswald laughed nervously and turned towards Geoffrey, ‘he’s funny, isn’t he?’

Edward huffed as he walked down the halls of the mansion, he wasn’t going anywhere in particular. He.Just. Needed. To. Walk. In his state of mind he almost walked straight into Olga who was standing idle next to a framed painting, seeing if it needed adjusting. ‘Olga.’ She didn’t even look in his direction. ‘Olga’ he said again growing more agitated. She took her time to slowly face him. ‘That man…Gregory or whatever it is. What do you think about him?’ He asked. Olga smirked and said simply. ‘I like him. More than I like you.’ Ed scowled and continued walking down the hall.

The next day, Geoffrey arrived. Oswald was still busy getting ready upstairs so Ed took the moment to talk to him..To figure him out. ‘Edward.’ He greeted. ‘How have you been?’ ‘Suspicious.’  
‘Suspicious?’  
‘Yes. Of you and your intentions with Oswald.’  
Geoffrey looked almost amused. ’Why, Mr. Nygma I love him. I have no ill intentions.’  
‘Right.’  
Geoffrey cleared his throat, ’I am green yet I am neither animal nor human. I reside inside you and only come out when your want overtakes. What am I?’  
‘Jealousy.’ Edward said without a second thought.  
‘Exactly.’ He said and gave Edward a smile, which was anything but a pleasant one.

Edward knocked lightly on Oswald’s bedroom door. ‘Come in, Ed. I’m just deciding which coat would match best what do you thin-‘  
Before Oswald could react Ed had him cornered against the wall with an expression of determination.  
‘Ed, what are you-?’  
‘Do you love him? Do you really love him?’ Ed asked.  
‘I told you I d-do, wha-‘ was all Oswald could stutter.  
‘Are you certain?’  
‘I-I Ed’  
The next thing Oswald knew, Edward cupped his face and leant down and kissed him. It was both gentle and passionate all at the same time and it was more than Oswald or Ed had ever hoped for. They could feel each others hearts beating harshly against eachother and feel the warm and the way everything just made perfect sense. When Ed slowly pulled away. Oswald leaned onto Ed’s chest in a half hug and said softly against him, ‘No. I love you.’ 

End.


End file.
